A Mary heart

What a whirlwind week... especially when you're trying to conceive through IUI and have to drop everything the minute your hormones do their thing. If you've been following along with us, please send some prayers our way today. My emotions are saying "Just close the blinds and stay in bed", but my heart is saying (for the 80th time) "This could be it. Keep believing".

One thing I have been processing lately is that I want a Mary heart. I want to be able to say more consistently "Let it be done to me according to Your word." I don't want to be desperately angry or sad when the outcome isn't what I'd hoped. I don't want to be driven by my emotions and tossed by the wave that mothers in waiting often ride month after month. I want to keep my hands open to alternatives instead of clinging to assumptions. He has a way of working outside the box anyway, right?

In my heart, I believe the Lord is bringing me to this place of uncomfortable growth in preparation. I am a natural busy body. But in quieting my mind, I'm finding so much comfort in His nearness, rest in His loving-kindness... even in His “missed opportunities to be early”. I'm going to treasure in my heart all the things that are happening along the way. And believe that every developing event and new word sheds more light on a beautiful unfolding that we WILL behold one day. All for Your glory, Lord. Yours alone.