As I have loved you

This past year has been incredibly difficult and over time, I've slipped away from deep conversations. I've believed that I’m too messy or my burden too heavy, so I've kept more to myself. Texted instead of called. Made excuses for why I can't keep commitments. Answered with "I'm fine" when I'm actually screaming on the inside, "God, where are You? How did I get here? Where is my tribe?"

Alone. I think we’ve all felt this way at some point in our lives... whether it’s the result of circumstances beyond our control or isolation of our own choosing.

This is exactly where the enemy wants us. Alone with his whispered lies that start to sound like truths. Alone with our own tangled thoughts. Separated from the very people who could speak courage into our discouragement, faith into our fears. The enemy knows if he can isolate us, he can intimidate us. Confuse us. Deceive us. Not all isolation is bad, but at times it can be dangerous.

Reading John 13:34-35, I was convicted that it's pretty hard to love other humans if I've withdrawn from them. (Sidenote: It's pretty hard to receive love too, duh).

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35 NIV)

So I had to get really honest with God about where I was. I had to own my part in the ways I'd wandered off course... sometimes slowly and steadily without even realizing it, sometimes willfully. I simply cannot love LIKE Him and show I belong TO Him, if I'm distanced FROM Him and others.

Jesus says in John 15:5-9, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing... As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love." Constant connection to the Vine, Love Himself, is the key to giving away love as freely as I've been given it.

This is a lifelong challenge. When facing trials from the inside or outside that test our faith, we have the choice to draw away or stick close to God. Abiding is what matters. When we live that truth, we can begin to love like Jesus. And I for one, so want to be known for that.