Musings on Faith and Belief

This blog holds the words, experiences, and lessons I'm learning along life’s way... they are my story. Actually, they are God's story for me. And they’re all working together to weave a robe of righteousness I would never have picked out for myself.

Disclosing these finer details makes me a little uncomfortable. Because they're so personal. They contain some of my most intimate times with the Lord. And yet I feel the gentle push to open up my journals. To be vulnerable and share what is already written.

So I’m picking up in November 2015, right after I faced a crisis of belief and at the Lord's nudging, began clinging to the very word "believe". A friend texted, "When I was reading in Romans this morning, I knew I was supposed to pray this over you. Lifting you up today!"

Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God. (Romans 4:20)

More mentions of belief and faith. I knew the Lord was speaking. What I didn't know was that He was about to take me on a years-long journey to cultivate both.There was a Sunday at church when the message centered on the story of a sinful woman forgiven:

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:44-50)

The sermon was on something entirely different, but I began to wonder about the connection between my faith and God's response. My actions and God's actions.

I wanted to get more clarity on this, so I dug in. This woman was showing love like it hadn't been seen before. She held nothing back from Jesus. I pondered over that. Lord, what action might You be waiting on from me that demonstrates faith? Am I holding anything back from You? And what does a lack of faith on my part play when it comes to Your response?

I had more even questions. What would make her so loving? What would make somebody so lavish, so grateful? This woman was going over the top... it was almost bizarre to witness. Weeping all over somebody, wiping their feet with her hair, holding on and never letting go and pouring out. This was extravagant behavior. Why was so much love being poured out? Christ's simple answer was essentially, "Because she's been forgiven of much, she loves much."

The Berean translation of verse 48 says, "Your sins have been forgiven". That's past tense. She had already been forgiven. She had been forgiven some other place, some other day, some other time. She came there already forgiven, in a state of forgiveness, to find Jesus and to thank Him. The guilt and shame was gone. Life was different and longings after holy and righteous things began to occupy her heart, and she was swept away with gratitude—swept away with affection and love for the One who had forgiven her. So much so that she couldn't even restrain herself.

Jesus was letting the onlookers see what real transformation looks like. There was no other explanation. Her lavish love was tied to His lavish forgiveness. They witnessed it and said, "This man forgives sins. We can see this woman is forgiven." How could they see when you can't see forgiveness? They saw the transformation that it makes: joy, gratitude, love, affection. Transformation led to actions born of love. The woman washing Jesus' feet was a clear testimony of His power to transform a life.

Her salvation was evident, not by anything she said, but by what she did—her visible love toward her Savior, so profuse and so passionate.

In verse 50 Jesus said to her, "Your faith has saved you." It wasn't her love that saved her. It was her faith that saved her, that produced her love. And the same goes for me and you. It's through faith, not works, that we are saved, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Praise God, that our forgiveness of sins isn't based on performance. Christ Himself—His blood and righteousness—is the final and once for all basis for all our forgiveness. Thank You, Lord!

All of this led me to understand the actions of the woman didn't cause Jesus to forgive her, but gave evidence that she was already forgiven. The forgiveness preceded and enabled the love. Christ cancels sins as a way of awakening love in our hearts. Not the other way around.

So here was where I landed. Like this woman, I have a choice. Do I respond to forgiveness with love and faith in God? Do I live and act in a way that displays a transformed life? If so, my life will look visibly different. Fruit will grow. Faith will be strengthened. And God will receive glory.

Look back at Romans 4:20: "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God."

What is faith? Hebrews 11:1 tells us "faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." The woman had faith in Christ's forgiveness and displayed it by washing His feet. Abraham had faith in God's promises and displayed it by standing in belief. Through their faith in action, both individuals brought glory to God.

When Jesus said to certain people throughout the scriptures, "Your faith has made you well," He was saying that their faith (their confidence in Him) had been the means of their restoration. The power of Christ was what brought about the cure, but His power was applied in connection with their faith. And just as the faith of some enabled them to receive healing, so healing was sometimes stymied by a lack of faith.

And He did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. (Matthew 13:58)

Does this imply that Jesus would have done miracles—indeed, wanted to do them—but there was simply no one there who believed in His willingness to do so? Could the same be said of my own life? What if a lack of divine activity has nothing to do with unwillingness in God's heart, but unbelief in mine?

I never want that to be said of me. So trembling, I prayed: Father, I've asked You to help my unbelief. Now, I'm asking You to help me walk in faith for the promises You've given. Show me where I doubt You and show Me how to trust You. Jesus, I embrace You with all that I am. Let my life be marked by transformation. May the deep love I have for You be the single greatest visible proof of the power of the Gospel in my life.

Help me to put my love on display through action. Through obedience. Through surrender.

Thank You for Your Word to me. There are so many more things that could be said about the feet-washing woman. But it's enough for me to see that Jesus knew how important a transformed life is to evangelism. And how important that the transformed life displays faith in action. It isn't just that I do different things. It's that I'm branded by a consuming love for Christ that desires to demonstrate affection and self-sacrifice on His behalf.

I pray to live that kind of life—filled with gratitude, filled with love for Jesus— that people will know what a forgiven person looks like. Use me like You used that woman to be a living testimony to Your forgiving, transforming power. In Christ's name. Amen.