The joy of the Lord is my strength

This same time last year, I came across "Selah" and studied it's meaning a little more deeply: wait, rest, think on this, listen, praise, give thanks. Considering all I was feeling in my desperate waiting and longing to start a family, I felt an intensely strong connection to the word. A word that immediately moved to the top of my list for baby girl names and was tucked away in my heart for a later time. I AM IN AWE of all God has done in our lives since that time.

Over the past few months, He's taken a cloth to my smudged glasses and patiently cleaned them so that I can see a point He's been trying to make. Something deep in my soul has shifted and I'm putting it out here to hold myself accountable.

I CHOOSE JOY.

I know it will not always be easy. Despair and discouragement have been my longtime travel buddies, pulling me three steps back with every one step forward. But I can't un-see what He's shown me or shrug off the conviction to take the fork in this road. I will be the barren woman who sings and shouts for joy (Isa 54). I will rejoice in all that God has done, is doing, and will do. I will anticipate and celebrate in the messy middle, knowing He sees the beginning all the way to the end. I will live a lifestyle of joy in the midst of unanswered prayer. I will smile at my biggest obstacle, knowing that the Lord has allowed it into my life for a purpose beyond what I can imagine. And He has dominion over it and everything else I will ever face.

His love is unfailing, even when I fail Him. His plans are to prosper me, and to give me hope and a future. HE CAN BE TRUSTED. The joy of the Lord is my strength --> My strength IS JOY! So Lord, let my strength increase as I choose joy and be glorified in me.