The Lord of Hosts
Mother's Day 2016 came and went. Another year not being called "mama". Another year with empty arms. Another year asking the Lord to sustain me. Flipping back to my journal pages, I'm struck by just how close the Spirit of God was and how loudly He was speaking in those desperate days.
It was the following Thursday when James and I took dinner to some friends to meet their new baby boy. It didn’t take long for the conversation to steer itself toward our wait and we filled them in on James' Hannah dream and our confirmation from the Lord. My mind was stirring with anticipation about taking a pregnancy test in the morning since I was late. We all rejoiced in God's goodness and faithfulness, even in the wait, which had been so hard.
The next morning, I took the test and it was negative. The stinging tears came again, just like other times. Ok Lord, not yet. Minutes later, I started the work day checking emails and saw one in my inbox from the couple we'd visited with. It was a Mother's Day message recap from a friend's church in Nashville on Hannah's prayer and what it means to draw close to the Lord of Hosts.
I was stunned first, at the subject of Hannah, and then second, that I'd never heard of the Lord of Hosts as being the "God of Angel Armies". This title seemed especially significant to me in connection with Hannah's story. With my story. And so I took some notes:
Hannah poured out her soul before the Lord. She came in total humility laying out her cares, much like the woman in Luke 7 who wept over Jesus' feet.
And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. (1 Samuel 1:11-15)
Hannah's only option was to pray to God and in 1 Samuel 1:11, she articulated one of the more tenacious and bold prayers in all of Scripture. She directed this to the Lord Almighty, Jehovah Sabaoth (yeh-ho-vaw' se ba'ôt) or The Lord of Hosts, the king of all heaven and earth.
The Hebrew root word tsaba, or “a gathering of people,” is frequently used in the Bible to describe armies preparing for war. When paired with the name of God in Jehovah Sabaoth, it reveres Him as being over hosts of angelic armies who gather in His name and serve at His command. All creation is subject to the Lord of Armies. “Lord of Hosts,” “God of Armies,” “Lord God of Armies”, and "God of Angel Armies" are versions of this name.
This is the first time in the bible where we see this name being used. Hannah called out to the Lord over angel armies. The God who commands His angelic artillery to guard over you (Psalm 91:11). The God who is always by your side and fighting for you. The God who has all power to break any stronghold. This is the God a determined woman called on in her time of need.
Doesn't this make your faith in God surge?! The enemy hates it when we stand in faith, because we get stronger when we stand in faith. Look at how Hannah experienced the peace of God.
She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. (1 Samuel 1:18-19b)
Her face no longer looked sad or discouraged. She had an appetite again. The atmosphere had changed, even though her circumstances hadn't. This shifting parallels to Philippians 4:6-7:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
As it did for Hannah, petition paves the way for peace. Sometimes our posture on the outside can affect what's happening on the inside. And God is interested in the inside, first and foremost.
The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught. (Isaiah 29:13)
Taking a position of humility and a posture of worship will sometimes help to get your heart aligned with God and wanting to worship Him. And there's a difference in crying out to God from your heart and in crying into the air.
They do not cry out to me from their hearts, but wail on their beds. (Hosea 7:14b)
This distinction still hangs in my soul since first hearing it. So now, more often than not, I direct my cries toward the God of Angel Armies who fights for me. Toward the One who asks me to "be still" while He tears down every lie the enemy launches... month after month, year after year.
The teaching pastor ended the message with a call to stand in faith, worship the Lord, and wait expectantly for His blessing. His closing thoughts:
Hannah poured out her heart to God.
She worshipped Him even though her circumstances didn't change.
In due time, God caused her to have a son.
I was sharing all of this with a friend a few days later and she remembered the line in a song from Lauren Daigle called Trust in You:
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I try to win this war
I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, king of the fight
No matter what I face You're by my side
When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You
I tucked this prayer into my journal: How amazing are You, Lord. To send this message to me the very day I have a negative pregnancy test. You long for me to cry out to You. Over negative pregnancy tests, over passing Mother's Days, over questions without answers. Thank you for drawing me with a word delivered straight to my inbox. One that I couldn't miss. Let its seed go deep and bear fruit in my life. Thank you for showing me the power and might of Your being the Lord of Hosts, the king of heaven and earth. It would only take one word from You to bring your promise to pass, and that gives me hope that the day will come. In due time.