Be Still, Be Armed, Be Bold
It was the fall of 2013, my first year of freelancing. James and I were struggling with the changes that had me working from home and us being in each other's space. There were always things to be done around the house and seemingly never any time to do them. This led to month after month of finger pointing and just general frustration. We knew we needed help and didn't yet know what to do about it.
At the same time, we were trying to start our family and I was meticulously charting and checking my ovulation. I dreamed of our children as friends around us had their second, third, and fifth child. I was beginning to grow distant with the Lord. And a small voice nagged at my mind: Why is this taking so long? Is something wrong with me?
Over the span of a few weeks, the Lord whispered the words "be still" as His response. Four different times. I knew I couldn't ignore it and asked Him to show me what He meant.
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)
I prayed: Lord, help me to study this and direct me as I dig deep into this phrase that You are highlighting for me. A commentary on "the Lord will fight" noted that this was a necessary reminder. Although Israel was armed for battle (Exodus 13:18) and marching out boldly (Exodus 14:8), the victory would be won by God alone.The cross reference for "the Israelites were armed for battle" in Exodus 13:18 pointed to Ephesians 6:13 (NIV):
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
What is the full armor of God? (Ephesians 6:10-18)
Belt - truth
Breastplate - righteousness
Shoes - peace
Shield - faith
Helmet - salvation
Sword - word of God
The only offensive battle gear is the sword. Everything else is defensive.
Reading this, I'm reminded that every battle I face is spiritual and must be fought in God's strength. Going back to "the Israelites were marching out boldly", the cross reference directed me to a few other verses:
On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul. (Psalm 138:3)
The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1)
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13)
I wondered: Ok... so if the Lord does the fighting, what do I do? Father, help me connect the dots. And He did.
Be still (also read as "be quiet") - Exodus 14:14
Be armed - Exodus 13:18
Be bold - Exodus 14:8
When Moses told the Israelites to be still, it was a response to their cries and complaints about being brought out of Egypt and into the wilderness. I saw myself with the same heart attitude: protesting and pulling away from the Lord. I needed to let go of all the doubting and take hold of the contentment Paul spoke of while stuck in a prison cell.
To do this, I must...
quiet my spirit... be still
stand in His strength... be armed
call on Him... be bold
The Lord showed me with gentle correction how important it is to bring my questions to Him, knowing He alone can still my soul. To armor up, standing in His strength; not my own. To call out to Him, letting Him breathe fresh boldness into me. I face no battle alone; He fights for me.
We will face times of trouble in this life. Each of us will lose our footing, will feel defeated, will be let down by the ones we love or backed against a wall and powerless to change what’s spiraling around us. This life will bring us hardship, loss, brokenness, and times where it feels like hope is ten thousand miles away. But it's in those tough times that our Father wants us to lean on Him. You face no battle alone; He fights for you.
That day, this prayer spilled out onto the pages of my journal: Father, I submit to Your admonition and ask forgiveness for becoming distant and uncommunicative. I need to keep an open dialogue with You. Please forgive my stubbornness and hardness of heart. I'm so grateful that you don't leave me alone with the troubles I face. Thank you for Your love and power that gives me strength and confidence. Thank You for drawing me back to You with persistent whispers of truth. You knew I needed to heed this and You made sure I heard it. You are so good to me.